A new law, approved this last January, requires Homeland Security to retool visa application forms, apparently in an attempt to protect foreign mail-order brides from dangerous American spouses. But the department, which oversees immigration services, failed to meet a March deadline to produce the paperwork. And that has had the consequence of stopping the immigration process for thousands of other couples.

Nothing like getting your marriage snagged by bureaucratic institution that has been completely useless for the last several years aside from harassing people for saying "Bush sucks" and searching swarthy-skinned individuals at the airport.

The average 2006 wedding with a formal reception will cost $26,327, according to a study by the Fairchild Bridal Group, though the average Midwestern wedding will be a few thousand less at $23,181.

Nearly one-third of couples will pay for their own nuptials, and only 25% of brides will expect their parents to foot the bill.

I don't know who exactly this is supposed to be news too, but I found this unsettling:

The average engagement ring costs around $4,200, and it usually contains a diamond.

Diamond engagement rings weren't that common, though, until the late 1940s. That's when diamond cartel De Beers created the "A Diamond Is Forever" ad campaign, convincing Americans that the only acceptable engagement ring was a diamond one.

What's wrong with diamonds? Oh, nothing. Just this.

Not only is the egregious spending offensive in a world where too many have too little, but the meaning of the ritual is all but lost amid the designer dresses and lobster dinners. Weddings are supposed to be about love, commitment, and family - not Vera Wang. Young couples hardly interested in their vows leave that task up to ministers they hardly know, while they obsess over every last knife and breadmaker in the registry.

Less useful at this point are more editorials on the merits of not having an expensive wedding than actual hints and services that would make that editorial more practical.

June is busting out all over -- with beautiful brides in floor-length gowns and grooms in elegant tuxedos. This year's bridal buzz combines weddings in picturesque floral gardens, rolling-green lawns and the serenity of romantic, flower-filled courtyards.

Bursting into bloom are feminine and ethereal silhouettes that are delicately seasoned with tiny jewels, soft-lace flower petals and tiny satin-covered buttons. These dreamy gowns, created in a garden variety of sensuous fabrics like lace, taffeta, satin and flowing chiffon, come to life in Las Vegas' own Secret Gardens.

This all sounds fairly shallow and trendy. But, hey, if you want to spend thousands on things like this, I won't judge. At least, not to your face.

A quirk of the lunar calendar has prompted a massive jump in the number of people getting married in China.

This lunar year will last a longer-than-usual 385 days and contain two lunar springs - a doubly lucky time to start a family.

And the years on either side of 2006 are considered exceptionally unlucky since they have no lunar spring at all.

And, on top of that, this is the year of the dog in China, which is viewed as good for marriage.

"He was so nervous. It was hot, and he had not eaten, so he fell like a ton of bricks," she said. When he regained consciousness, "he was looking at everyone, going, 'What am I doing down here?' After that, he always made sure he had some crackers."

There are worse ones in there, but this article is still relatively PG. I was hoping for something a bit juicier, like the whole cheating with the groomsman/bridesmaid thing that results in the offended party bashing some heads with candle-holders. More along those lines...

Come to think of it...that whole "wave" metaphor is really inappropriate.

There were almost 1,500 wedding announcements in the latest quarterly issue of Bob Walker's New Orleans Wedding Guide, the city's oldest and most established, compared to 1,200 for the same period a year ago. And every month since January, roughly 35 couples have attended the Catholic Archdiocese's mandatory prenuptial seminar, up from 25 a year ago. And at the state marriage license office, clerks are staying late to accommodate the wave of couples.

"It reminds me of Valentine's Day Valentine's Day. Except it's like Valentine's Day all the time," said Brenda Hurst, a director in the marriage license division of the state's Vital Records Office.

I'm less inclined to think that this is any indication of a resurgence in New Orleans culture than a quick stab at getting in, getting hitched, and then getting the hell out of there before the next cataclysm arrives...

The vote, scheduled for Tuesday, will occur in a week devoted to several priorities of social conservatives _ what House GOP leaders call their "American values agenda." Also on tap are a pledge protection bill and several Republican-backed stem cell bills.

Nothing shows how much you value an institutimore than banning certain people from taking part in it.

Wedding Photography Overview

Hiring a Photographer

Types of Wedding Photographs

Wedding Photo Shoot List

Wedding Cakes Overview

Shopping for the Wedding Cake

Types of Wedding Cakes

Wedding Cake Traditions

Bridesmaids' Dresses Overview

The Perfect Dress?

Where do you Shop for a Bridemaid's Dress?

Questions to Ask?

How do I find out what Engagement Ring my girlfriend will like?

How do I decide on a good budget for my Engagement Ring?

What should I look for in a stone for my Engagement Ring?

How do I choose the correct setting and band for my Engagement Ring?

Marriage can make you happy; stop the presses.

The researchers used a 3,066 person sample that measured symptoms of depression -- such as an inability to sleep, or persistent sadness -- in the same people both before and after their first marriage.

They found that depressed people experienced a much more extreme decrease in the incidence of those symptoms.

It's a little creepy to think that people would get married in an effort to counter depression and not for the intrinsic sake of wanting to be with a person. Something this study doesn't mention are the people who are depressed, get married, then get divorced. How, I wonder, does that affect happiness?!

I love Schadenfreude, don't you?

First it was Nick and Jessica, then it was Carmen and Dave, and now, for the third time in less than a year, more bad news comes down from a publicist on high: Travis Barker and Shanna Moakler -- the heavily tattooed former drummer of Blink-182 and his former Miss USA wife -- are calling it quits.

That means three celebrity couples who have pimped their relationship on MTV reality shows have ended up in divorce. Coincidence or curse? Is there something about exploiting your relationship on MTV specifically that leads to a breakup or are the odds bad no matter which network you go to?

This may sound cruel, but anyone who doesn't respect their marriage, personal space, or privacy enough not to exploit it for money probably deserves to fail.

Just in case anyone wasn't feeling sick to their stomach today - here.

What kind of wedding would you have if money were no object? How about one with 10,000 flowers, 45 chefs, a 200-pound Grand Marnier Cake and live performances by Billy Joel and Tony Bennnett. Sound excessive? Not for Donald Trump, who threw just such a bash when he married his third-wife Melania Krauss last year. The reception was held at his palatial 18-acre Mar-A-Lago club in Palm Beach. The star-studded guest list included such celebrities as Bill Clinton, Shaquille O'Neal, and Katie Couric. The showstopper was his bride's Christian Dior gown, which she modeled on the cover of Vogue last February, decorated with 1,500 rhinestones, it weighed 60 pounds.