The emotional effects of divorce are not just felt by the two people who are actually getting the divorce. Divorce is often hard on those close to the couple as well. Children of the divorcing couple often have the hardest time dealing with the emotional effects of divorce. Close friends and family members can also experience conflicting emotions over the divorce of someone close. Listed below are some of the people that divorce can have emotional effects on:
• Children: Divorce is usually taken the hardest by the children of the divorcing couple. If children are younger usually ages 13 and under they can often times not fully understand the reasons for the divorce and begin to blame themselves for the split. Older children usually those who are pre-teen and teenagers are understand the reasons a little clearer but can still be emotionally distraught over the divorce. When parents get divorced kids can feel as if their entire world is changing and that is very overwhelming. Guilt is also a common emotion for children of a divorcing couple, especially if the child is old enough to choose which parent he or she wants to live with. Making a decision such as that can be very painful as well as stressful for a child. Parents should be open with their children if they are going through a divorce and make great efforts not to involve the children in arguments. They should also explain to the child or children that the divorce is in no way their fault and doesn't have anything to do with them or anything they have done wrong. It is also wise to try and inflict as little change on the child's life as possible. Keeping routines and schedules is a good way to help the child through the emotional time.
• Friends: A lot of times adult couples hang out with other adult couples going out to eat together, vacationing together, barbequing together, and doing other couple things together. When one couple decides to get divorced this can be an awkward strain on friendships. Friends can often times feel as though they have to take sides in the divorce and once that happens they generally cut ties with the side they don't choose. It can be an emotional time for the friends of the couple who is divorcing because they can feel caught in the middle.
• Family: Family members like friends often times feel caught in the middle of divorces. It is not uncommon for a family member such as a mother in law, father in law, sister in law, or brother in law to be close to the person in the divorce who isn't their family by blood. This can take an emotional toll on the family member when trying to figure out the best way to handle the situation. Obviously wanting to be loyal to family is important but a close friendship can be important as well.