That was what Isambard Kingdom Brunel thought of the hot beverages served in the waiting room at the town's station, according to Andrew Kelly.
Mr Kelly, who was joined by Melanie Kelly, was giving a talk on their book Brunel: In Love With The Impossible, as part of the literature festival.
The audience at the Steam Museum laughed as Mr Kelly told the story of how passengers were forced to leave the train at Swindon, but the coffee was notoriously bad.
That's kind of random...